Bait & Switch: Saving Your Relationship...
Bait & Switch: Saving Your Relationship...
Megan Hunter, MBA
Has your fairytale romance suddenly transformed into relationship chaos? Are you bewildered with how the person of your dreams has morphed into someone you barely recognize--displaying hostile, unpredictable behavior that leaves you exhausted and confused? If your relationship has deteriorated into one high-conflict scenario after another, and you're trying to decide whether you should dig deep and try to make it work or cut your losses and exit safely, this straight-talking book has the answers you need.
In Bait & Switch, relationship expert, Megan Hunter, provides an inside view of complicated relationship situations and offers practical strategies to help real couples deal with the behavior and ensuing conflict. Hunter explores the interactions, conscious and unconscious, that occur in a complicated relationship--both during the convincing "sales pitch" given before the partners commit to each other through marriage or moving in togethe rand then immediately after, when the switch has been thrown and distressing behaviors are swiftly revealed--and recommends strategies for changing these dynamics.
In this first-of-its-kind book, Megan Hunter addresses the patterns and thoughts from both sides without placing blame or casting judgment. Based on hundreds of interviews with people in high-conflict relationships, seeing the destruction of families in her policy work in family law, and feedback from lawyers, psychologists, and mediators who work with these couples, it is an inside look at "his" thoughts and "her" thoughts, their unconscious interactions, and step-by-step staying strategies.
In this book, you will:
• learn about the brain science behind the behavior
• take tests to determine if you’re in a relationship with someone who has a “Complicated Operating System”
• establish a new threat-reduced environment
• understand your conflict style and contribution to the conflict
• develop new skills to help you minimize and contain conflict
Megan Hunter, MBA, is an international speaker and author on the topic of complicated relationships. She is the founder and CEO of Unhooked Media, a publishing and speaking company focusing on new thinking about complicated relationships and high-conflict disputes, including: Unhooked Books, and High Conflict Institute Press. Megan has trained legal, mental health, business, leadership groups, universities and other professionals across the United States, Canada and Australia in the area of high-conflict family, legal and business disputes. As staff to the Arizona Legislature’s Domestic Relations and Child Support Committee she gained a broad understanding of the issues facing both families and professionals in family law. She also served on the Board of Psychologist Examiners and currently serves on the Advisory Board of the Personality Disorder Awareness Network. Listen as Megan is interviewed by Dr. Michael Aranoff on Doctor Talk, Sirius XM on Sirius XM Radio.
Publisher: Unhooked Books
Publication date: June 2015
Binding: soft cover
ISBN (print): 978-1-936268-70-2
ISBN (ebook): 978-1-936268-71-9
Praise for Bait & Switch
“In her book Bait & Switch, Megan Hunter addresses an important facet of parental relationships, and of our society in general: How can we handle, survive, and even thrive in relationships with a very difficult partner? That is, with partners who may be very attractive in some ways, yet have a personality skewed by a fear-based, threat-based view of the world. This personality issue renders relationships very challenging.
“Based on her years of experience in this field, Megan proposes an effective and simple strategy based on ‘connecting, shifting, honesty, and consequences.’ Connect with the emotional brain (right) to control the fire. Then shift to the analytic brain (left) to activate the thinking. This is something that we can all do and practice. Thank you Megan for articulating such a clear strategy that will help many of us.”
—Frederic Bien, PhD, President, Personality Disorder Awareness Network (pdan.org)
“With extraordinary insight, Megan Hunter provides clear and usable strategies and skills for ending the chaos of high conflict relationships. Backed up by science, she provides the reader a detailed prescription for turning around behaviors and relationship patterns for the better. If you want to save your relationship, this book will show you how. If your relationship cannot be saved, this book will help you understand why, and provide you the groundwork for co-parenting after divorce and better relationships in the future, if that is where your path leads. This is a valuable piece of work.”
—Angie Hallier, Divorce Attorney, Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, and author of The Wiser Divorce – Positive Strategies for your Next Best Life
“Wondering, ‘How did I get here?’ In her exceptional book, Bait & Switch, international speaker Megan Hunter provides meaningful insight for people who sailed into love on a wave of excitement only to find themselves living inside a storm. This book is a must-read for anyone in love with a person with borderline personality traits making meaning out of the chaos while bringing skills and hope in an ocean of despair.”
—Lynne Kenney, PsyD, pediatric psychologist, international educator, and author of The Family Coach Method and Bloom: 50 Things to Say, Think, and Do to Help Anxious, Angry, and Over-the-Top Kids
“Megan Hunter has successfully tackled one of the biggest topics of today: What do you do when your great relationship turns into a struggle? She gives numerous practical tips on what you can do and how to influence your partner. She combines her experience and observations from working with hundreds of couples as an administrator for family court systems and as a business manager, to give the reader encouragement— and hope!”
—Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., president of the High Conflict Institute, and author of Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder and So, What’s Your Proposal?