Dating Radar

Dating Radar

13.29 16.95

Why Your Brain Says Yes to "The One" Who Will Make Your Life Hell

By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., and Megan Hunter, MBA

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Why Your Brain Says Yes to "The One" Who Will Make Your Life Hell

By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., and Megan Hunter, MBA
Media contact:  Andrea Burnett Public Relations  (p) 650.207.0917  (e) andrea@andreaburnett.com


This is not just a dating book. It is a virus scan for your love life.

Why do so many of us commit to the wrong person – maybe more than once? Most believe that attraction and compatibility are the keys to relationship success when, in reality, these are red flags in 15-20% of the population

Dating Radar by Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter

"If hindsight is 20/20 vision,
dating radar is x-ray vision."

When it comes to love, the brain is irrational and shortsighted. We make decisions based on incomplete information, biased understanding, and strong emotion. Love truly is blind. That's why you need dating radar—it gives you a way to detect hazards you might otherwise miss by recognizing:

  • warning signs of certain personalities that can spell love relationship danger
  • ways that they can jam your radar (deceive you)
  • where your own blind spots might be

Attorney, mediator, and social worker Bill Eddy and relationship expert Megan Hunter equip readers to see through the blinding haze of new love and spot potential toxic relationships before it’s too late!

A relationship manual intended to help the unwary avoid the land mines that litter the dating landscape.
— Kirkus Reviews

Table of Contents

Introduction
Chapter 1: Who is a High-Conflict Person?
(and Why Should You Avoid Committing to One?)
Chapter 2: What Jams Your Radar?
(How They Deceive You)
Chapter 3: What are Your Blindspots?
What Makes You Vulnerable)
Chapter 4: "Don't Kiss a Narcissist"
Chapter 5: "Don't be Blindsided by a Borderline"
Chapter 6: "Don't be Seduced by a Sociopath"
Chapter 7: "Don't Hook Up with a Histrionic"
Chapter 8: "Other High-Conflict Dating Situations"
Chapter 9: Using Your Dating Radar
Chapter 10: Splitting Up: Should I Stay or Should I Go? 

Book Details

Publication date: coming August 2017
Pages: 237
Binding: softcover
ISBN (print): 978-1-936268-12-2
ISBN (ebook): 978-1-936268-13-9
ISBN (audio): 978-1-5414-1427-3

Survey

Have you dated or been married to a high-conflict personality? If so, please take part in our Dating Radar survey right here.  

All results are anonymous.


Megan Hunter, MBA, is an author, speaker, and expert on high-conflict disputes and complicated relationships. She is CEO of Unhooked Media, a U.S.-based media company focused on relationship and conflict revolution through print, digital and the spoken word. She is publisher at High Conflict Institute Press and its imprint Unhooked Books, and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute. She is a frequent guest on Sirius XM Satellite's The Doctor Show (psychiatry).

Megan trains legal, mental health, business, leadership groups, universities and other professionals across Australia, the U.S., Canada, South Africa. She has strong policy and judicial training experience during her tenure at the Arizona Supreme Court and as a member of the Arizona Board of Psychologist Examiners. She currently serves on the Advisory Board of the Personality Disorder Awareness Network.

Bill Eddy is an award-winning author, lawyer, therapist, mediator and the President of High Conflict Institute. He developed the "High Conflict Personality" theory (HCP Theory) and is an international expert on managing high-conflict disputes.

As an attorney, Bill is a Certified Family Law Specialist in California and the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego. Prior to becoming an attorney in 1992, he was a Licensed Clinical Social worker with twelve years’ experience providing therapy to children, adults, couples and families in psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics. He has taught Negotiation and Mediation at the University of San Diego School of Law for six years and he is on the part-time faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law and the National Judicial College.


Reviews

A relationship manual intended to help the unwary avoid the land mines that litter the dating landscape.

Eddy (It’s All Your Fault!, 2012) and Hunter (Bait & Switch, 2015) collaborate in this dating survival guide that consists of one-tenth hope and nine-tenths somber warnings. Specifically, they focus on what they term “high-conflict people” (or “HCPs”), who “tend toward all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, extreme behaviors or threats, and blaming others.” The bulk of the book is devoted to helping readers identify HCPs, preferably before any deep emotional or financial commitments have been made. “Many of us have blinders on when it comes to love,” the authors write, and their advice is intended to remove those blinders by asking simple, straightforward questions and identifying various types of HCPs, including the “Narcissistic HCP,” the “Histrionic HCP,” and even the “Antisocial (Sociopathic) HCP.” Using lightly fictionalized stories as cases in point, Eddy and Hunter effectively lead readers through a labyrinth of conflict-addicted individuals, most of whom actively try to hide their natures using techniques that the authors lay out in clinical detail. Indeed, readers are never for a moment allowed to let their guards down: “HCPs thrive when they are able to control their fears,” readers are told in a representative passage. “How do they do this? They use you!” The authors further complicate the picture with biomedical factors such as bipolar disorder, chemical addiction, and PTSD. Overall, Eddy and Hunter offer a very frank discussion of the ways that readers make themselves vulnerable by intentionally refusing to think clearly about their own blind spots. Much of the advice in this book may strike readers as simple common sense, such as that people should wait a while before committing to serious sexual relationships, for instance, and that they should beware of people who curse at them. But taken with a grain of salt, it all makes for an intriguing cautionary tale.

A thorough, if sometimes thoroughly cynical, account of the perils of forming relationships with those who thrive on drama.
— Kirkus Reviews
This highly readable, detailed guide is an indispensable manual to dating in the digital age. When technology has made it so simple to connect, but doesn’t supply the wisdom or insight of a personal or community network, caution is more crucial now than ever. The authors offer clear, easy-to-follow advice and convincing stories from their wealth of expertise with high-conflict personalities. This is essential reading for anyone wanting to understand his or her blind spots when looking for love.
— ANNE MICHAUD, AUTHOR OF WHY THEY STAY: SEX SCANDALS, DEALS, AND HIDDEN AGENDAS OF NINE POLITICAL WIVES
“Eddy and Hunter have captured a complex topic in readable and nonsensical fashion. Their Dating Radar is a terrific gift for my divorce clients as they head out my door and reenter the dating scene. While my prenuptial clients are already smitten, this book should be required reading as a final check on their judgment. High conflict people present complicated personality and behavior patterns, yet the authors distill the warning signs and offer sound advice on how to avoid and exit these couplings that ensnare the unsuspecting in what often morphs into dangerous, painful, and heart-breaking relationships. Consider this book a handy operating manual for tuning up one’s dating antenna.”
— Janice Green, attorney at Farris & Green; author, Divorce after 50; Board Certified in Family Law; Texas Board of Legal Specialization; Fellow, American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers
One of the most frustrating things for a divorce lawyer is the inability to help a client understand what went wrong in the relationship, so healing can start and the same mistakes aren’t repeated. Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy’s book explains, and goes far beyond dating advice: it’s the equivalent of 20/20 foresight about relationships, delivered in a kind, frank, and intelligent way. This is the kind of book people bring to my office, crying with relief, saying ‘This explains so much.
— NNETTE BURNS, ATTORNEY AND MEDIATOR; PRESIDENT, ASSOCIATION OF FAMILY AND CONCILIATION COURTS (AFCC)
Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy help readers navigate dating with a common sense approach and avoid the usual pitfalls that keep so many people single. It’s an easy read that will surely provide transformative results in the reader’s dating life.
— TAYLOR FRANÇOIS-BODINE, PROFESSIONAL MATCHMAKER
Are you actually going to commit the rest of your life to that charming, good-looking person you found on an app? Are you blindly allowing momentum or neediness or loneliness or sex to push you into a future with a person you’ve known so briefly? Have you caught yourself rationalizing that ‘he only hit me once’ or ‘she promised never to do that again’ or ‘I can change him?’ Do you secretly worry that the exciting passion of the bedroom could easily turn into the corrosive passion of divorce? Then it’s time to turn on and tune up your dating radar. Eddy and Hunter have given you the means. Now it’s up to you to make healthy relationship choices.
— Benjamin D. Garber, psychologist; PSYCHOLOGIST, AUTHOR OF HOLDING TIGHT/LETTING GO, AND DEVELOPMENTAL PSYCHOLOGY FOR FAMILY LAW PROFESSIONALS
This book is great! As a person who helps people with high conflict marriages, it does my heart good to have a book with the wisdom of authors like Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter, who try to prevent high-conflict marriages in the first place. People tell me ‘I wish I had known about high-conflict partners 10-12 years ago.’ To find out about them beforehand is a blessing, which may help people avoid years of hardship in an unhappy marriage with unhappy children. This gives binoculars for people to see beyond their childhood programming. Now they can look with fresh eyes before it’s too late.
— RANDI KREGER, AUTHOR OF THE ESSENTIAL FAMILY GUIDE TO BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER AND CO-AUTHOR OF STOP WALKING ON EGGSHELLS: TAKING YOUR LIFE BACK WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE HAS BORDERLINE