Hostile comments can show up anywhere, including in emails, letters, on Facebook, comments to internet articles and in-person. Should you ignore them? React in the same hostile tone? Or is there a better way?
A BIFF Response® is a way to respond that usually puts a stop to the hostilities, while leaving you feeling good about yourself. BIFF stands for Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm. We have been teaching this method for the past 12 years and the feedback has been universally positive.
They can be very difficult to be around, so be aware of what you’re facing.
Whether you’re dating, making friends, looking for a job, hiring employees, or joining a club or organization, it can be helpful to know some of the warning signs for people with narcissistic personality disorder or significant traits.Read More
Here's a fast fact about high-conflict people: life is better when you avoid them. Bill Eddy, mediation expert and president of the High Conflict Institute, describes them not only as difficult but also potentially dangerous. So how can we avoid becoming a target in their path of destruction?Read More
We all relish a good love story about the couple who “just knew” within minutes of meeting each other that they were meant to be together. They moved in and got married quickly. Years later, they’re still holding hands and eating off each other’s plates. But most of us also know that’s not how love usually shows up in real life.Read More
No discussion of ADR is complete without reference to the works of Bill Eddy. This is an essential book for divorce professionals, both as interesting and informative reading and as a book to keep on one’s desk “just in case.Read More
Is someone verbally attacking you at work, at home or in your community? Telling you that you’re a loser, saying "It's all your fault," publicly humiliating you, spreading false rumors about you or claiming credit for your hard work? Such people are often narcissists who are also high-conflict people (HCPs).Read More
As we head into the final stretch of the election season, most people are arguing over Democratic versus Republican policies and statements. But we believe we need to spend just as much time watching out for traits of high-conflict personalities. Politicians with these traits are highly ineffective, often increase conflict in our nation, “split” the country emotionally in half and may ultimately get kicked out of office.Read More
With last week’s shooting deaths of two African-Americans by police and five police officers by an African-American man, there is much talk about our divided nation. What (or who) is dividing America? Are we more divided than ever before? Or does it just seem that way? And what is to be done? There is no one cause and no one easy answer. But surprisingly all of the following are part of the problem. And we all must be part of the solution.Read More
George Will is the latest Republican to exit Donald Trump—and the Republican Party. Will the Republican Party exit Trump en mass in July at their convention? Trump doesn’t play well with others. Up to now, he’s been all words, and millions of voters have loved his millions of words. But now he has to start delivering.Read More
Apparently, Donald Trump’s recent racist comments about a federal judge have caught many people by surprise. For those of us familiar with high-conflict personalities in relationships (whether in romance, at work or in a legal dispute), it was quite predictable. It is another sign of the inevitable fall of Donald Trump, because he fits the standard HCP pattern so well. It’s just a question of timing, not “if.” Here’s the pattern:Read More
Hillary Clinton just gave a foreign policy speech on Thursday highlighting her belief that Donald Trump would be dangerous if he became president. Is this really true? Or is she just exaggerating for campaign purposes?Read More