Caught in the Middle: A Letter to My Divorcing Parents

Caught in the Middle: A Letter to My Divorcing Parents

14.95

Benjamin Garber PhD

This is Emma’s story of how parental conflict feels to a child. You’ll learn practical strategies for cooperating, communicating, and putting your kids’ needs first, so they can have the childhood they deserve.

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#2 IN THE 3-PART
HEALTHY PARENTING series
BY DR. BENJAMIN GARBER

Caught in the Middle

A Letter to My Parents

Do you worry that your relationship conflict is harming your children? Separation and divorce are tough enough on grown-ups, and they can be even tougher on kids. Parents may expect their children to be their allies, messengers, or spies. That’s a lot of pressure for a kid! And it doesn’t have to be this way.

In Caught in the Middle: A Letter to My Parents, Dr. Benjamin Garber shares Emma’s story of how parental conflict feels to a child. You’ll learn practical strategies for cooperating, communicating, and putting your kids’ needs first, so they can have the childhood they deserve.

Emma, a fictitious 18-year-old high school graduate who grew up in the middle of her parents’ selfish divorce and co-parenting war. Emma is an amalgam of the thousands of children that have found themselves caught in the middle of their parents’ conflicts. The rage and narcissistic injuries that these parents live with day-to-day blinds them to their children’s needs. As a result, children like Emma are prematurely thrust into the adult world. They are forced to become their parents’ allies and confederates, messengers and spies. They give up their childhoods in order to serve their parents’ selfish needs. They become chameleons, changing who they are in order to fit into the adult world, or ostriches, burying their heads in the sands of denial.

Emma’s done a very selfless thing by sharing this journal with you. The thoughts and feelings that she shares here are very private. Even embarrassing. But Emma and I have decided to put this book in your hands in the singular hope that maybe you will make different choices than her parents did. Maybe by sharing her journal, Emma can help you learn to raise healthier children.

Book Details

Publisher: Unhooked Books
Publication date: May 4, 2019
Pages: 90
Binding: soft cover
ISBN (print): 9781950057221

Author

Benjamin D. Garber, PhD is a New Hampshire licensed psychologist and award-winning author. He serves the needs of children whose parents are conflicted, separated and divorced as a child and family therapist, custody evaluator, parenting coordinator, expert witness and formerly as a Guardian ad litem. Dr. Garber provides advance training to family law professionals in all matters related to understanding and serving the needs of children. Caught in the Middle is Dr. Garber's sixth book.

What People Are Saying

As a divorce attorney and mediator of almost 30 years, this book caught my interest in the first few pages. Dr. Garber so clearly describes the profound effect of parental conflict on children as seen through the child’s eyes and perceptions. With page after page of actionable advice, this book is a must-read for all parents, divorcing or not.

—SUSAN E. GUTHRIE, Esq., Co-Founder of Breaking Free Mediation and Co-Host of the iTunes Top Ten podcast: Breaking Free: A Modern Divorce Podcast

Table of Contents

Introduction
Chapter 1: Divorce doesn't harm children. Parents do.
Chapter 2: But They're too Young to Understand!
Chapter 3: Kids Blame Themselves for Their Parents' Behavior
Chapter 4: Put the Child's Needs First
Chapter 5: Structure Reduces Anxiety
Chapter 6: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Other Childhood Psychiatric Illnesses
Chapter 7: Therapy & Medication? If You Can't Drain the Pool, Get a Life Preserver!
Chapter 8: "We" Messages
Chapter 9: Emotions Aren't Logical
Chapter 10: Whose Needs Are Being Served
Chapter 11: But I Only See Her Ten Hours a Week
Chapter 12: Making "Change Day" Easier on Everyone
Chapter 13: Denial, Minimization, and Escape
Chapter 14: Is Anger the Opposite of Love?
Chapter 15: Parent-Parent Communications
Chapter 16: Keeping Kids Out of the Middle
Chapter 17: Fantasies of the Intact Family Persist
Chapter 18: The Best Interest of the Child? Beware of the Legal System!
Chapter 19: TMI!
Chapter 20: Childhood Does Not End at 18 Years Old
Resources That Can Help
The Author