The Transformative Negotiator: Really Listen
In The Transformative Negotiator, the chapter “Really Listen” highlights the importance of active and reflective listening in negotiation. Active listening refers to concentration, while reflective listening refers to comprehension without censorship. Identifying filters and triggers is the key to actively listening, and it is essential to identify both your own and those of your negotiation partner. Assessing nonverbal cues of your negotiation partner, such as pitch, speed, tone, and volume of their speech, provides valuable insight into how to proceed. There is much to be considered during a negotiation, and it is not only the words being said.
Reflective listening requires you to look at the negotiation as a whole. In a negotiation, it is imperative to be able to understand, demonstrate understanding, and have understanding verified, or even corrected. Think of reflective listening as a mirror; clearly communicating the intentions and goals of your negotiation partner is an indication of comprehension. Communicating this way provides opportunities for clarification and/or verification. Reflective listening can be practiced by reversing roles to better understand where your negotiation partner may be coming from, as well as where they think you are coming from. The desired outcome of these practices is to understand your intentions and end goals from multiple perspectives, specifically the perspective of the others in the discussion. By focusing on active and reflective listening, there is less room for negotiation partners to misunderstand one another.
Limiting the possibility of misunderstanding one another is an essential component of Michèle Huff’s guidelines in The Transformative Negotiator. Common learned behaviors such as defending yourself, appearing knowledgeable even if that is not the case, or trying to be likable make successful negotiations more difficult. Awareness of whether you are prone to these behaviors will help you “Really Listen,” and it is important to determine if these traits are present in your negotiation partner’s communication. It is helpful to acknowledge any hindrances to a productive negotiation and navigate the conversation with them in mind or address them head-on. People can be quick to judge their negotiation partner(s) and conversations from their own lens, but a holistic approach will help all parties see the negotiation and its trajectory more clearly.
Michèle Huff is a transactional lawyer with decades of experience negotiating for global corporations, universities, and individual clients. She is the Executive Director of Business Contracts and Brand Protection at UC Berkeley, overseeing contracts, intellectual property, and brand management. Previously, she was the University of New Mexico’s senior lawyer for research and technology and co-founded a Silicon Valley software start-up. A skilled speaker and educator, Michèle has taught negotiation and intellectual property courses and led workshops nationwide. Learn more at www.michelehuff.com